Category Archives : Article


Another Thing About Marriage

Another thing about Marriage in Marriage Conversation is to take full responsibility for your own happiness is one essential basis for successful partnering. What that means is this: you no longer get to use your partner as the scapegoat for what you lack. You no longer get to blame her for the coldness you learned […]


The Million Dollar Smile

The blinding darkness of assumptions The Million Dollar Smile in Marriage Conversation: He walked briskly up to me hand extended “I know you from somewhere…eh, the country club?” “I doubt it” I said as I limply shook his hand. We were standing around at a Chamber mixer on a hot southern California July evening. I […]


The Four Horsemen of Irresolvable Conflict

The Four Horseman of Irresolvable Conflict in Marriage Conversation: We speak of conflict as a golden road to intimate connection. It can also be the catalyst for ‘irreconcilable differences.’ Conflict is a natural consequence of individuals growing and changing. Conflict is our noticing that something’s different, something’s not quite ‘right,’ something’s changed. If we think […]


Starting Fresh Claiming a new Life within Marriage

Starting Fresh Claiming a new Life within Marriage on Marriage Conversation: Why do many marriages veer towards marginal when the love that started the process seemed so promising? How is it that many people wake up three or four years into marriage wondering why they married in the first place? Many marriages ‘marginalize’ their love. […]


So Busy Parenting we Forget to Love and Cherish our Children

So Busy Parenting we Forget to Love and Cherish our Children In Marriage Conversation: Parenting is way of life. It demands consistent consciousness and attentiveness. There’s safety, health, learning, relationships, play – all needing our guidance and focus. We want a lot for these little people who are on the way to taking their place […]


Time

Shame On You

Shame On You on Marriage Conversation: The May 30, 2011 cover of Time Magazine had this headline “Sex, Lies, Arrogance: What Makes Powerful Men Act like pigs?”            This title neatly catches an old worn out paradigm – a Puritan thought police kind of thing- that reflects attitudes of shaming, blaming, self righteousness […]


Safety In Marriage

Safety in Marriage in Marriage Conversation: In order for a marriage to function as a healthy marriage there is a big need for safety. We call good marriages ‘learning communities’ because healthy marriages make each partner (and all the children) smarter. Dysfunctional marriages (we call them ‘marginal’) tend to make the partners crazier or perhaps […]


Marriage – Living on the Edge

Living on The Edge in Marriage Conversation: A young thirty something businessman and I were talking about his business and the fact that it ‘flat lines,’ ‘doesn’t grow’ and that inflation drives his small profit margin down each year. We got around to talking strategy and I began talking about attitude. “You’ve got to find […]


Marriage What’s Up Doc

Marriage Whats Up Doc in Marriage Conversation: We have a teenage daughter who is delightful, energetic and responsible. That is, she responds to a voice within her that listens to a beat I can’t quite hear. I have my own (inner) voices and although I am not quite schizophrenic yet, I do hear voices from […]