Growing Up – The Art of Loving in Marriage

 In Individual Work

“I’ve had to do a lot of growing up in my marriage and have had to learn how to stop pointing fingers and instead take inventory and look at what my responsibility is”… “being a worshipped rock star it’s easy to convince yourself that you deserve love and you should be loved, but I’ve had to learn how to be better at how to love someone else” – Bono (introducing the release of his latest CD)

Many of us concentrate on the way we’re loved. We’re good at diagnosis, analysis, speculation on our spouse’s motives, theories about them and so forth. This style (for that’s what it is) of relating creates countless circular arguments that are really power struggles in disguise. They leave us empty and cold. But more important, the relationship we’d like to have stays far from us.

If you would like to change the quality of your life together try this: “everything that is wrong in this relationship is 100% mine. All the joy I get from this relationship is mine to bring. This relationship is my creation and I’m going to focus entirely on what I can do to make it the most loving, tender and real relationship that is possible.”

John Maxwell said it this way: “a leader is someone who creates the reality others live in.”

If you can see how critical your healthy marriage is to the well being of your children, your extended family, your friends, and your community – you will begin to focus today on the quality of your loving, your truth and your empathy for others.

Email and phone coaching available at: Stephen@MarriageConversation.com or call: 805 527 2600

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