Tag Archives : Stephen Frueh


The Million Dollar Smile

The blinding darkness of assumptions The Million Dollar Smile in Marriage Conversation: He walked briskly up to me hand extended “I know you from somewhere…eh, the country club?” “I doubt it” I said as I limply shook his hand. We were standing around at a Chamber mixer on a hot southern California July evening. I […]


The Four Horsemen of Irresolvable Conflict

The Four Horseman of Irresolvable Conflict in Marriage Conversation: We speak of conflict as a golden road to intimate connection. It can also be the catalyst for ‘irreconcilable differences.’ Conflict is a natural consequence of individuals growing and changing. Conflict is our noticing that something’s different, something’s not quite ‘right,’ something’s changed. If we think […]


Taking off the Mask

Taking off the Mask in Marriage Conversation: The single most difficult task any professional helper who is dealing with a marriage that has lost its bearings is this: there is an immediate need to ‘take off the masks’ that each individual wears. Necessarily so. Why? Masks are created to meet the expectations of the world […]


Starting Fresh Claiming a new Life within Marriage

Starting Fresh Claiming a new Life within Marriage on Marriage Conversation: Why do many marriages veer towards marginal when the love that started the process seemed so promising? How is it that many people wake up three or four years into marriage wondering why they married in the first place? Many marriages ‘marginalize’ their love. […]


So Busy Parenting we Forget to Love and Cherish our Children

So Busy Parenting we Forget to Love and Cherish our Children In Marriage Conversation: Parenting is way of life. It demands consistent consciousness and attentiveness. There’s safety, health, learning, relationships, play – all needing our guidance and focus. We want a lot for these little people who are on the way to taking their place […]


Shame On You

Shame On You on Marriage Conversation: The May 30, 2011 cover of Time Magazine had this headline “Sex, Lies, Arrogance: What Makes Powerful Men Act like pigs?”            This title neatly catches an old worn out paradigm – a Puritan thought police kind of thing- that reflects attitudes of shaming, blaming, self righteousness […]

Time

Safety In Marriage

Safety in Marriage in Marriage Conversation: In order for a marriage to function as a healthy marriage there is a big need for safety. We call good marriages ‘learning communities’ because healthy marriages make each partner (and all the children) smarter. Dysfunctional marriages (we call them ‘marginal’) tend to make the partners crazier or perhaps […]