Need awareness is perhaps the most critical component of healthy relating. It’s hard to allow yourself to be aware of your own needs when your life has been spent in the presence of adults who applaud need denial. “What a great player!” I heard a youthful soccer coach say. “He played the entire second half hurting.” (the boy had a badly bruised leg). The coach’s appeal to heroism didn’t sit well with most of us on the sideline. We wanted our sons (and daughters) to be real, to get the attention they needed and to learn another lesson. It’s ok to be injured and it’s ok to rest.