How Clear Are You

 In Individual Work

And what is your intention?

“..and now the days are short, I’m in the autumn of my years, and now I think of my life as vintage wine from fine old kegs, it poured sweet and clear from the brim to the dregs, it was a very good year..”

 We look for politicians to be ‘good communicators. But what if what they communicate is simply old worn ideas that pollsters told them certain audiences want to hear? What if they haven’t had a fresh idea in years and simply want to be elected?

Google is making much of its new ‘privacy policy’ which can be seen as subterfuge for ‘get more usable (saleable?) information from our customers.’ Google is good at mining your personal history. Not so good at predicting future behavior. And predicting future behavior is where the money is.

Psychology too is great at looking back and understanding ‘what happened’ and why it happened. But don’t ask psychology what’s going to happen because you will not get a meaningful response.

Thinking these thoughts on Valentine’s Day and I wondered how I could clearly communicate my future desires to my partner of 30 years. I am wanting to live fully in the present while looking toward the future. I am clarifying my intention.

Intention. Ask a politician what he or she really intends once elected. Not the pay for view promises they repeat like trained seals angling for the fish (votes) you might throw their way. But what are their intentions?

Do you intend to serve, as best you can, all of us? Do you intend to be transparent in your core values? Will you work hard for the common good striving to listen to those people you don’t agree with or perhaps who didn’t in any way support your candidacy?

Marriage too is all about intentions. Candy and flowers are ok but do not give any clear message about what you intend to do the next time you’re seriously challenged. How do you mean to love her? Do you intend to take the effort to listen? Are you willing to do the work it takes to change an attitude? Will you embrace conflict without the need to be right? Can you, will you love, honor and cherish him even though he follows a different star?

I stopped by the local supermarket late last evening in need of milk and bread and saw several men hovering around the greeting card rack. It reminded me of how little we trust what we do bring each other, how much we are slaves to culture. What if we all made a pledge? What if we stopped buying cards and candy and offered the time and energy instead as a gift of presence? Ask yourself: when and in what way does your partner most need you? Ask: how could I bring what I have within me as a love gift that would lighten their load? That answer would make a valentine’s gift worthy of the words I love you.

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